Some incidents leave their footprints on sands of our memory forever!

Why?

I am writing this blog after a long gap! I know!

I have been super busy in my studies and at my work. I didn't get any time, last one week or around 10 days, I was in Odisha. Meeting parents and spending time with them, ofcourse it's important, but while exercising duties of a son, I neglected Karma for being a civil servant, I missed my studies which would have taken me closer to my goal.

And, yeah, being a hardcore believer of exquisite planning - neat execution - learning from failures - improvising and repeat the cycle till I get it right : I am working on my goal as much as I can!

I don't know about others, it's just me and the almighty and I want to stay as transperant as I can and hence, have opened an YouTube Channel so that I can record my study sessions. Little bit distractions are there, that's natural, I hope I just get better with time!!

Yes, so why do you want to become a civil servant? This is a very important question! If you don't know it, I am not sure about Civil Services, but yeah, for Armed forces it was very much needed else it's just not you who will be a casualty, you will be the reason of sorrow for 120 Men and their families! So yeah, there are a lot of reasons. Even sometimes I get confused which one to choose, every service has its own pros and cons. I just need to see, where I will fit in the best. And, I know I will do well.

I am writing this blog this evening as before 30 minutes I had my dinner at KFC. It was a rainy evening and as I choose always the corner seat to enjoy solitude, I sat and was having my meal - a chicken burger and some chicken popcorns!! There are few kids here, who play outside near the footpath, when I went in the afternoon to have my coffee, they were so happy and climbing up a tree and playing with each other, I mean, sometimes people have a lot, more than what is needed, still they want more and more and there is no end to it, whereas some people are happy with minimal things in life. Maybe those kids were not eaten, still happy and playing, when I was having my dinner, one of the kids came outside the glass and asked for food, I don't know how to express it, it just makes me sad. I mean, inside few kids were having cold drinks and food and in rain outside those kids are looking at food and begging for it! Two different worlds, so far yet so closely I saw. It just moved me for a second.

After my food, I went to buy chocolates and chocopies for them, but only one kid was there, I gave him! He smiled so beautifully, maybe in rarest of rare occasions, I have seen such happiness!! I felt good. I am not glorifying myself that I did a great job, nor I took any photo or ever shall I do such things of posting those in social media to showcase own greatness or whatever.

Here, the point is very different.

Along with my other reasons, I am going to mention it in one of the story. I want to work for such people - underprivileged and maybe they need someone who will help them so that they can become something good in life.

Similarly, day before yesterday, one lady came, she was very old and she came to recharge her phone but the shop was closed. The momowala bhaiya requested us to recharge her phone and she gave us the cash. I don't know, maybe people like her, if not having a son or daughter or anyone to take care of them, how they would be doing, they might be roaming like this requesting people to help them! It's just sad.

I am not a socialist, but why don't we help underprivileged and poor people, along with a lot of good things I learnt from my parents, I have learnt to help people in need. That gives a sense of happiness and a joy of giving, it feels so nice. Maybe it was very very small thing, but I feel good.

And, to bring a change for such a large sub-continent like ours, even after being a bureaucrat I don't know what I can do, but I will try from my end, wherever I am, changes happen from one person, and that person leads and guides others. I want to be that torch bearer.

May my country be the best and may the Almighty help all these people. I shall keep them in prayers. Also, I will try my best not to waste food from today, I can't really forget two faces of the same kid in two different instances - During afternoon a joyful kid and during evening a kid who is begging food for being hungry. 

Jay Jagannath!

Which one is you among these categories?

Before you want to see which category you fall into if you don't introspect enough, first of all be an Essentialist. That's much needed for being a better human being. Else, officers? Some are so fuckall to be a human being in every kind of services I have personally experienced.

If you are one of these below categories, change yourself for a better tomorrow:

This answer is #copied from Quora.

1. The Frogs: They do only one thing in the whole day-Hop from one coaching to other.

Coachings for GS, for optional, for CSAT, for essay, for ethics, for current affairs, for answer writing, for prelims crash course, for revision, for DAF filling,for hobbies etc.

2. The Kabadiwalas: They come here to become a district collector, but return as a books collector.

These people have more useless books than the local kabadiwalas.

3. Chai Chaudhary: Only sacrosanct thing in their daily schedule is chai-pe-charcha in evenings. Usually found in a group of 5–6. They are probationers of becoming point number 4 (below).

4. The Gyani Babas: They pretend to know everything about UPSC. They can even predict cutoffs. Sight of a pair of ears is their trigger point. Whenever they see ears, the enlightening gyaan starts flowing from them.

5. Extinct in the Wild: They live alone in excessive seclusion and have no idea about what’s going on in the real world. Studying without break often exhaust them early in the race. (excessive is keyword here)

6. The Intellectuals: We are a product of an education system where cramming is most rewarded trait. For 17 yrs of schooling we are trained to do one thing- mug up things, write those things in exam, score high, showoff, buy new golden guide, repeat.

But when we start out preparation for UPSC, we have this urge to delve into the world of intellectualism. We want talk like intellectuals, walk like intellectuals and laugh like intellectuals. Soon we come to category of point number 2.

Don't be either of these.

Have the attitude of a Champion,

But, Hustle like an underdog, every damn day!

Jai Hind! 🇮🇳

Life and UPSC

Today's post will be a #Copied one from Telegram (LBSNAA Talks):

I am reposting this because my thoughts are quite a match with this.

So here it is:

Guys.... Do you know?? 🤔
Noone cares  ki tm Kitna pain me ho?☹️
Noone cares ki  tmhre pas kitni problems  ?😕
Noone cares ki tmhri financial  condition kya h ?😣
Noone cares ki tm sch me  khush ho bhi ya nhi 😖
Noone cares ki tmko kin chizo se tklif hoti h😩
Noone cares ki tm Kitna andr toote huye ho😫
Noone cares ki tmhri kitni fat* pdi h
🥺😒☹️
Sch me yrr kisi ko ghnta frk n pdta😖😖..... tmhre hone se / ya n hone se🥺😔

Sb apne mtlb  se milte h tmse
Sbki apni apni alg alg need hoti h😒

Jb tk wo fulfill  hoti h ..... tb tk all okk ☹️
But jb wo bnd huyi ..... unka tmhre liye  behavior  automatically  change ho jayega ....😏

Trust me guys ....🫠
Sch me kisi ko koi frk n pdta
Or jb unko frk nhi pdta ...... to tmko kyu frk pdta h ??. 😬
Ki 4 log kya sochege .....🙄🤫

In 4 logo ne hi hmari life ko barbad  kiya huya h ....  hr chiz me ye log aa jate ....🥺😫😖🤬

To please in 4 logo /society / parents pressure  me akr 
Unki demands ko fulfill  n kre 😒😏

Unke liye apne  aim se compromise  n kre 🤓

Ap jo krna chahte h ap whi kre 🤩

Wrna soch lo 😟
Duniya to  kl bhi tmko criticize  krti thi☹️.... aj bhi krti h😒 .... aaage bhi kregi ..... 😫

In sbme ap kbhi khush nhi rh paoge ....😖

Or jb 60 ki age me ventilator pr hoge🤒 ..... samne sare doctors hoge😷 .... or antim Saanse  jb le rhe hoge 🤕 .... to andr se bs ek hi awaj aayegi ....😳

kash Mai  wo apna aim pura  kr Pata😖.. jo mene bchpan me apni aankho me sajaya tha🥺.... jiske liye mere dil ki dhadkati h ❤️.... kyuki us wkt koi tmhre sath nhi hoga ....🥺

n wo society  jo roz tmhe  criticize krti thi, 😖

n tmhre parents jo bilkul against  the tmhre aim ke .... kyuki unko wo bekar ki chiz lgti thi ... 😩

Or n tmhre friends jo bolte the .... "tu kya teer  mar lega isme .... tere bs ki nhi h"😖

To aise  logo se meri hath jodkr  request  h 🙏..... dusro ke liye apne aim ke sath koi compromise  nhi ...👊🫶🫶✌️

Kyuki jb koi koshish krke bhi apne aim hasil nhi kr Pata to bahut tklif hoti h lgta h jese sb khtm ho gya .... ab kuch bcha hi nhi life me  .... 😫😩🥺😓

But ap to apne life ke aim ke sath  compromise  krke  .... uski khud hi apne hatho se hatya kr rhe☠ ....to jimmedar bhi ap khud hoge.... 👿
To please dusro ki नजरों में  itna Mahan  bnane ki koshish n kre ....🙏✌️

Zindgi ek bar mili❤️ .... jo chaho wo kro 💗.... agr isme bhi apne According  n jee paye to kya hi krege fir💞 .... dusro ka sochna bnd kre ....❌ khud ka sochna shuru kre ✔️☑️

And last me bs itna hi ..😍😘❤️

Leave a mark in this world. Have a meaningful life, whatever definition it has for you. Go towards it. The place we are leaving is a beautiful playground, where everything is possible. Yet, we are not here forever.💓💓
         Our life is a short spark in this beautiful little planet that flies with incredible speed to the endless darkness of the unknown universe.💗💗
           So, enjoy your time here with passion. Make it interesting. Make it count!💕💕

Thank you

How was it? Did you feel the spark inside? So work hard for yourself and you will achieve your goals!

I hope it will be helpful! :)

Draining Physically, Mentally & Emotionally! But, It's okay! Matter of an year!

This is so true!

There will be a moment when you will feel like you don't deserve it, you are not for it, you should settle for less, you should just stop now, you are done with it, you gave your best and you need to stop, you should just give up!!! That's the point you are tested to its core.

Maybe someone else's hardship and your hardship are two different things in a parallel universe. But, you just consider yourself as the only and biggest competition. Look yourself in the mirror and say, fucking I am going to do it, no matter what, no matter what it takes. It's no fun game for me, I have put on my game face not to show off but show everyone else how it's done, amidst all the hardships, amidst everything!! You call yourself a leader, who inspire people? Prove it, prove it with your pen? Nah! Pen might be mightier than sword, but here action speaks louder than words.

Just step out of your comfort zone, nothing grows in a comfort zone, you will grow as a human being in the process of learning. Ofcourse your goal is to crack the exam, but that should not be your sole goal, you are larger than this, your aspirations, your true self, your purpose as a man in this life is larger than cracking this overhyped examination! You have done great things in past, when I say great things, it doesn't really matter if you have done great things, have you stepped out of your comfort zone, fought with inner self and did something in pain, and still achieve it? Be it a small thing! Be it attending class daily, while you are literally limping, be it you are able to push yourself for that extra 15 minutes even after working in office amidst data for 10 hours, when literally you brain says it needs rest!

Human beings can do everything and anything - this belief is important in life and you shall overcome the hurdles just like that! You must learn to be tough, you must learn to say come on rather than being a cry baby and say why me! Okay! Whatever happened we can't change it, but what remains ahead, that is in our control!

Don't be so comfortable, when you are being comfortable you are giving your weaker self to dominate and win, you are letting those voices win who once said you can't do it, you are letting those doubts win, you are letting those Haha reactions win when you asked a silly doubt in the class, you are letting those people win whom you don't even consider as competition!

Someone somewhere is training hard, maybe harder than you, what are you doing?

As they say, 'Sapne tab poore honge zab neend adhuri hogi!'

Be fucking merciless, it's just a matter of time, endure pain, it will take you to a sweet victory where you will smile and say yourself, yes I did it! I persisted and I did it!

I don't know you! But I know myself. Every fucking battle in this world is won in the mind. It's 99% thinking about the problem and 1% about solving it! It's how good I strategize things and execute things, even if I fail, I strategize again, execute again, if I fail, I am knocked down, I will get up and fight again, that's me, I have been like this, indomitable spirit they used to call me in my Engineering college, someone who never gives up at anything. This battle is going to be intense and personal with my inner self - who says to be comfortable. But, I will win, no matter what. Watch me.

Jay Jagannath!

April Started Already!

This is a picture very close to my heart, I was using a LeEco LeTv phone at that time and lol that got stolen in the academy! But yeah, this was the last picture taken before I left to join Army and my father had posted this in Facebook.

In public, though he has never supported me to go into Armed Forces, but yeah as he himself cleared it for Airforce, he never stopped me as well, he took me to all the military entrance tests to Cuttack and this post, I love it so much as it shows he was and is indeed proud of where I was going!

Anything else?

Today was CSAT Test, I did 20/25 questions, some questions seemed absurd, but yeah, I think I hit 100% accuracy, I feel bad and sad sometimes when I see folks preparing day and night and with a full time job of a Senior Data Scientist, it is difficult to focus and work with same timeline. But yeah, I believe in trying my level best so that I don't want to regret later. It's being tough day by day and I feel sometimes to give up, but I won't, I never did, I never will.

Jay Jagannath! ❤️

Last Day of March 2023

Part 1:

I joined the classes from March 1st. And, it's been 30 days of hustle. And, yeah, it's just started. It's a marathon and I need to keep doing hard work, every damn day, no matter what, I am sick, tired, exhausted, frustrated or don't want to it more, still I have to do it and finish what I have started.

During this UPSC Journey, I am not getting enough time for my physical and mental health and certainly it's a big gamble, and being a working professional Plus aspirant, I feel in my case, I have to do it, because else mostly, who give Gyan in YouTube that they cleared being a working professional were either a full time aspirant in Delhi or some coaching for 2-3 years and when they realised it's better to do a job and prepare, they joined, kept on revising stuffs and cleared it. The other case is, some take 2-3 years of coaching and clear state PSC or some other exam, and we all know very well in most cases if you are aspiring for Civil Services you won't do justice to your government work, and then people clear after a few years. My case is different. Maybe a lot of people are in worse condition, I haven't come across.

Hence, the proverb always stand true - "One should not tell the other how to tie laces/judge, unless he/she walks in shoes of the latter."

Part 2:

Recently, before 3 days, I had asked a question in Unacademy Class of International Relations by Dr. Siddharth Sir, that if I am already married, working and preparing, I am hardly getting 5-6 hours of sleep, which impacts my health, and how can I deal with the same. He sort of mocked me by advising that 6 hours sleep is insufficient and how I am getting just 4 hours at Max to study and not to give excuses. Also, he asked me and the rest of the class to disapprove him, if one can clear this exam without studying for 8-10 hours a day, for a long time. I respect him for his knowledge and say of teaching. But, I also understand that he will not understand it in a virtual platform. Also, I don't believe in sheer hardwork since my Army preparation days. There is a donkey who also does a lot of hardwork, but there is no use of it. Smart work is very much needed in which we can maximize our efficiency in less reading.

Anyway, I had posted this status which I want to keep here, because I know I am going to do it no matter who says what.

Jay Jagannath!

I could have written a lot of things, but yeah, my station is going to arrive in a few minutes, so, some other day!

Stay happy! Keep hustling! Take care of yourself and be the best version of it! Dreams come true if you are a droer (Dreamer and Doer).

Mikshawat - A Journey of Togetherness

It was day 1!

Well! Day 1 when we met each other. It was a good and memorable day! We have indeed a lot of memories in Bhubaneswar!

When we both meet each other, that too after years in Instagram, I used to comment on her Photography Skills, lol! That's how we started talking slowly! It all feels so filmy these days! We met lately but we took some time to understand each other, we believed - 'Jo der se milta hai, dur tak chalta hai.' ❤️

Honestly, by the time I had to leave Army, I was 23-24 years old and I had seen a lot of life and understood a lot of people. I will give you an example, when I cleared SSB and my Blog was published in SSBCrack, I used to get a lot of doubts from a lot of aspirants, and I tried my level best to help folks, because I am from a Civilian background and someday I used to approach to Rishabh Bhaiya, who was my mentor, and I wanted to learn and do well for my goals. Some of those aspirants in later point of time became very good friends, I am quite certain some used to like me maybe! But, here comes the fun part! When I got injuries, I used to upload WhatsApp Statuses, if my surgery is done or I am traveling to Kolkata Command Hospital, people used to ask, what happened and If everything is alright!! At that time, it was such a mental trauma for me, I stayed in Hospital for 6 months, just not that, the irony is I was operated few days before my Passing Out Parade date and 09th March 2019 was my POP date and that day I was traveling back to Odisha after my shoulder surgery! At the airport, I was checking my coursemates earning those stars on shoulders, which I would never earn now due to the certificate issued by AMC Doctor - "Recommended to be invalidated out of Service due to Injuries attributable to and aggravated by Military Service." That was like a death certificate, something which crushed my goals, all hardwork, everything in few days. Realization came late, when I understood it's a part of life, I had everything, even my mother travelled from Bhubaneswar to Bangalore and then Bangalore to Pune, to see me. Same with my brother in law. I needed a lot of emotional support. I tried to call people whom I knew to feel better. Some of them, who used to call me on weekends to know how my training is going on and all! They showed a strange behaviour as if they don't care, some stopped talking!

I understood a life lesson about human behaviour - "They are only true people in your life who have never left you in your darkest of times!" I got to know who are true people, who are not.

When I was in MH Chennai, I had started talking to Samiksha. She never judged me that I got injuries or I can't become an Officer. On May 22-23, 2019, she proposed me and I said yes!

At the end of the day, we want someone that chooses us, over everything else, in any circumstances! That was her!

But, yeah, just like every other relationship, it has not been and it will not be easy, it has a lot of ups and downs with a lot of dynamics, we get irritated of each other, we fight so much, we don't talk to each other for a day or two, but at the end of the day, we know, our hearts refuse to give up on each other, and we will never give up, whatever it is. We are like the endgame! It's always meant to be!

Mikshawat - A journey of togetherness, officially started on 21 November 2021, when we got married and I wish we both do well in life, personally and professionally! ❣️

Jay Jagannath! 

Chapter 3 / Make Your Bed By Admiral William H McRaven

10 March 2023

In Military, they say, it's all mental!

At a point, you think and start believing that, religiously! And, it's true upto a great extent, if not a complete truth! It's not a complete truth, because you can do anything and everything till the time, your body supports you to do it! And, Officers who doesn't understand that, make their mens' lives miserable with injuries and sorrow to their families for a long time/if not for an entire life!

Life is short and beautiful, we always keep running towards our goals, no goal is small or big, because if someone wants to be a cook, he/she should do good at it, else it's of no point, there is no point of it! If you want to become a Civil Servant or Military Officer, be good at it, else you are just one of a big lot without making any significant impact in your service! Anyway, that's not the topic of discussion here!

I was reading 3rd Chapter, and Admiral William H McRaven says, when he visited ROTC, Coronado of SEAL, there was a person with civil attire, and small body figure, when this person came to meet Lt. Huth; Lt. Huth introduced him to the author as the last medal of honour recipient of Vietnam War and a decorated frogman of all time! William was awestruck at that, even a frail, quite humble, reserved man, who he was thinking will not be able to carry a rucksack, was a legend!

So, it's not always, the size of flippers, it's the size of your heart! If you dare to dream, you dare to do, if you dare to do, you dare to achieve!

I have not achieved anything great in life too, but I can proudly say, I have been thru one of the toughest times in life and one of the toughest/the toughest pre-commission military training in India, and that makes me distinct from others and that makes me that mentally tough to endure anything that comes in the way! That helps me thrive thru every day with a smile, it's always about proving your true potential! To the world? No! To yourself! So that, when you look at the mirror, you can say, hell yeah, I worked hard for it and I achieved it!

Challenge yourself every day, and have a SEAL Mindset, where every day you will be told by your instructors, you will not make it, you will quit, and to be a frogman, you need to prove them all wrong! Every person that says, you can't do it, how are you managing it, it must be very difficult for you alongside IT Job blah blah blah!! Just prove them all wrong with your hardwork and sheer grit and determination! That can beat every other thing in this world!

If you want to be a leader, work hard in silence and let your success make the noise, show all these people how it's done with your actions!

Fortune favours the brave! Jai Hind!

Chapter 2 / Make Your Bed By Admiral William H McRaven

Posted in 2021!

So, here is chapter 2! Admiral McRaven talks about his SEAL Training where they had to carry a raft together wherever they used t go, they used to carry it together, they used to paddle it together. One person can not do it all alone, be it anyone, whatever be the limit for the mental toughness for someone, one can not do it alone using his physical ability. In Military, we learnt many things, which gets imprinted in our muscle memory, and it does not go away, and for good. Likewise, I remember, when we were I our junior term, we were taught Camaraderie thru small things, like on a fine Sunday morning, we had come back from morning Sports and we were doing basic stretching and water drill was going on with CSM (Company Sargent Major, generally a senior term Officer Cadet Appointment, who’s in-charge of discipline and junior cadets in a Military Academy). Our CSM was Chaitanya Sir, he came with one single piece of Marie Gold Biscuit and we have been fallen in formation by then. He gave it to the 1st guy and asked him to eat a small part and pass on to the next guy and the condition set was the biscuit should reach till the last guy. It was one single biscuit and we were 30 cadets. There were two options, either learn to share the resources and have a happy Sunday or take a big bite and if it does not reach to the last guy, that means we would see hell in form of Ragda, whole day! See, a small thing, but it taught us camaraderie, like during Lecture cum demonstration (LD) which used to run from 8.45 AM to 12.45 AM and it requires carrying of few things from Kote (Armoury) like INSAS 5.56mm Rifle or sometimes a51 mm Mortar or 84mm Rocket launcher. Few cadets were detailed for particular LD and they used to go and issue those items and they used to miss Breakfast on that day. Guys, who used to go to Yodha Cadets Mess (Warriors’ Mess), used to eat only one or two slices of breads and they used to bring extra slices in their camouflage pant pockets stuffed with a Aloo Tikki or Egg Omlet. These small small things build relationships that even mountains can’t move or the sea waves can’t take away. Officer Cadets from friendly foreign countries like Bhutan, Fiji, Seychelles, Afghanistan, Maldives used to get trained alongside us, and they saying “Jai Hind” gives an entirely different feeling which is hard to understand if you belong to a civilian world. They may become Generals or Chiefs of their country’s armed forces some day and they will never forget the root which built them as a successful leader and the bonding with the Indian Army Course-mates which started with sharing a marie gold biscuit or slices of bread. Admiral McRaven says in this chapter that we are not immune to tragic and untimely events in life, if we are with the right and few people, we can do anything and we can achieve any task! This is what is called life, even to walk you need the leg that is back to put front, I remember and I am honestly grateful to those who were there when I was nothing, they motivated me when I was down and they fought the setbacks and failures with me, then, they were there to celebrate my success, not just getting selected in Army as an Officer, small moments as well, when I got an injury, still they were there, they stood like a rock to support me, and still, if I am feeling low, I call them, and they still listen to me and understand me the most, in life we can’t paddle the raft alone, we owe our success to others around us.

Chapter 1 / Make Your Bed By Admiral William H McRaven

Posted in 2021!

I was reading “Make your bed” by Admiral William H McRaven today and realized that making you bed should be the 1st task that we do when we wake up in the morning. It gives a sense of pride completing the task, however the task may be small. It shows discipline, it shows to the outside world of who we are, it shows that we are trained as ground soldiers to give attention to even smallest detail that we carry around us. I remember, cabin cupboard inspection was the most irritating one during OTA days, we used to hate such things during training, but again, there have been logic behind implementing such things, that if we can’t ensure professionalism of how we stay, how we carry ourselves, how we will instill the sense of discipline among the subordinates, how they can trust on someone who does not act and just orders. A leader is someone who believes in actions and not in mere words. Even, when the military stays in extreme conditions, if we talk of Indian Army, which operates from -50 degree terrain (Siachen) to +50 degree terrain (Rajasthan), the officers and the ground soldiers are expected to make their bed, it’s not about inspections, it’s about self discipline and theory of atomic habits which build our personality as a better human being, every single day. In military, sometimes it’s quite lonely and stressful for those who operate in those terrains and guard our borders so that we can sleep peacefully at night. If they can make their bed as their 1st task in hand in the morning, why can’t we do that? It gives solace, gives a motivation to do more in a day, it gives sense of structured life amidst the chaos, it gives us strength and satisfaction, which fuels us till the completion of the day. I remember, we were instructed to make our bed perfectly by making a knot of the bed-sheet corners under the mattress, and to keep the blanket by making it three folds in a perfect rectangle, the pillow in a perfect sync with such set-up - and all these, while we were hospitalized for our injuries in Military Hospital.If not alone, somebody would help, but making a bed used to be a routine like we shit, shave, brush (SSB) daily!

Small small things, but the impact stays for whole life, and the impact makes us different from the crowd. As they say, we train at OTA for the shortest duration among all military academies, but it makes us a gentleman for life. Training never goes on waste and it never will.

#MakeYourBed

 

Being alone is a power very few can handle!

Posted in 2021!

I am not an introvert. I am not an extrovert.

I have good amount of friends who stand with me no matter what. But still, when it come to make a decision, I am an Alpha Male in that. I like to be alone because I feel I can handle myself the best. I used to, I have been; may be I am failing at it sometimes, may be this time is not mine, but that's okay! I will do it!

Always remember, nobody is going to save you, the world is very selfish, so be a little selfish and work on improving yourself, it has such a high return you would have never imagined! Cut-off from the bullshit and stuff for a while, do deep work, invest on yourself and take ownership of your life! You have got one life, that's short and beautiful, do the things you always wanted to do, either you will win or you will learn, at least you won't regret it and you will get lots of stories through the experience, which you can tell the next generation and it might be someone's survival guide!

Be a lone wolf with extreme ownership!

Don't Quit! Persist, You will sail through!

Posted in 2021!

These are the days (Just like the image above, when after 7-8 months after I took Unacademy Subscription, I wanted to sell it), which come also and they are real, you get confused, you get to overthink again, you get to think like you quit!

But if you don't quit, if you persist there, if you have patience, perseverance and dedication, You will not fail!

Keeping self motivated, Falling again and again and standing up right alone and thinking to run this marathon again, people ask me often: "From where you get the mental strength?"

I reply, "Ever trained in OTA Chennai?"

I am grateful to my past. I might be sad at times because of the misfortunes, but, I can say, I am still better than those who never walked in my shoes and just day-dream/procastinate.

Edit (06 March 2023):

05th March was my revision test at Insights which had to start from 7 AM, as usual I started at 5 AM from home, reached early as yesterday was a Sunday, thought to catch 5.40 AM Metro, but then got to know that, the metro will start from 7 AM as it's a Sunday! I had two options, I go back home and give entire test online in which I may not be able to revise & waste my time simply, will not get a real experience of Mains Answer Writing or I wait in the station till 7, revise, give the test in Metro, take a chance in Unstable network, reach Attiguppe by 7.45 and rush for Mains part of it! I have been someone who always calculates the risk and goes with it, I did it and I am glad I took the chance. I improved myself somewhat! May be a baby step, but these small small things, it teaches a lot about life!

When you don't give up in these small small things, entire universe falls in love with such a stubborn heart!

#ZiddiDil

Officer or Good Officer?

Posted on 01 May 2021!

I was having a word with a Major General of Indian Army the other day, he was asking what I am doing currently and all, when I said I wanted to go for Civil Services, as usual, he shouted on me: "Why you want to be a Civil Servant? You want to be an IAS,IPS? So that you can do more corruption? You can take big dowry? You can compete for taking big bribes? Those misfit buggers in uniform do not know how to lead men. That's why, sadly CRPF/any other CAPF jawans die! In army, there is Naam Namak Nishan. When we fight we fight for izzat of our paltan. Inki khud ki izzat nai hai, paltan toh chhodo." I told: 'No Sir, there are Officers and then, there are good officers. I want to be a good officer.' He said: 'No, you can't be! They have made a system like that, in India, you can't be a good and honest civil servant.'

Today I am starting this handle to track, to self motivate, to push myself while not giving up every damn day - Not to prove him wrong. But to prove myself right.

I have been a patriot always and I will be. No matter what.

Jai Hind. ❤️

Hustle Hard Culture!

Last two days have been very hectic and I was thinking to write it on a diary or maybe here, digitally!

Couldn't get time!

You will know it when you are actually growing, when you won't have time for some things you want to do in a day, because your time is being devoted somewhere else, for grinding and hustling every damn day, to reach there, at your goals!

March 1st: It had been already a week around since I was searching for the best suited UPSC Civil Services coaching in Bangalore; again and again, I was getting this feeling that, just like I was searching Defence Coaching (SSB) in Hyderabad with Didi back in 2016, I wouldn't get a good one here and I had to move to Delhi!

About Delhi, I wanted to go, but there comes a point of life where you will feel like you are being tested by the almighty, there is a proverb,

"ठोकर नहीं खायेंगे तो जानेंगे कैसे जनाब पत्थर के बने हैं या मिट्टी के!"

(The time till you are not tested again and again, your original shine won't come, just like a diamond comes out of coal!)

I can't leave my current job, which is a mean of bread and butter for family, a lot of things changed in last few years since the unfortunate event happened at OTA Chennai, which literally snatched away the dream from my life! Yeah, I am okay, even if I am not okay, I will pretend to be okay, and I know it will be fine, someday! I am just trying to be a good human being, without harming anyone intentionally, other than those who attack me with their behavioural aspects!! Lol! So yeah, taking coaching in Bangalore was the only option available, I didn't want to relocate myself to Chennai again, being in same company!

I visited IAS Baba, Shankar IAS, Insights! I had enquired some as well, Legacy IAS, Rau's IAS, to name a few, based on my online expertise!

Finally, I selected Insights and I am glad (Till Now), that the decision is correct, I am learning well, the fee was much, but yeah, will manage it, the faculties are good. Let's see!

I felt that, Quality Civil Services preparation has become a costly affair in India, which is not affordable to all, while Civil Services being called as Toughest in the world and "The Great Indian Dream".

Yesterday and Today (2nd and 3rd March) has been quite a lot similar schedule! I am starting from 8.30 AM after breakfast and taking a bath, coming till Baiyapannahalli Metro (16kms) (Took a Parking Pass yesterday, had bought my Metro Pass a day before - Everything feels sorted! Not much mess!), Parking my scooty and Running across stairs to catch the earliest Metro possible for Attiguppe (27kms) (Not going Gym since 10 days probably, didn't feel lethargic for all the hustle tussle), Again from Attiguppe around 10 AM, rushing 1kms+ to the classroom with a long queue of so called "Aspirants", attending the class of 3 hours, having a juice or something to keep myself hydrated, rushing to Metro and all the way back to Baiyapannahalli and then, home? No home soon! You are a different breed of Aspirant, Lol, Working Professional! So, going back to work and working for 5-6 hours, just to avoid any escalations from HR as there is 3 days WFO, going back to home in late evening and work, have dinner and sleep by 12.

The day I came alone, may be last day of February, I took smal small videos and was thinking to make a reel, but, yeah, I have not come so far, just to come this far, I have come this far to be absolutely ruthless on self and work hard for this exam and clear it! (As my overstudy told, "You can do something in the best possible way, till the time you are able to do it, and when you can't, you do the next best thing!)

So, this is "The Next Best Thing".

I am working and will be working as much as I can and I will do it, if not today/tomorrow, may be day after tomorrow!

I shall reach there, definitely! This belief is very strong and it does not come just like that, it comes from past experience, when you want something and work for it every damn day, even the earth, the nature, the almighty everything works in sync to support the same!

Hardwork never goes in vain!

Jai Hind!